"I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well, take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A milestone around my neck,
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give."

 - Jesse Lacey (Brand New, 'The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me')


Coming home from the mission has been harder then anything I have done before.  Going from a carefully organized and planned day into the day of  "do whatever you want" was more then I (or anybody for that matter) was able to anticipate.  It's been throwing me for a loop these past few weeks.  At times I feel that all the lessons and the habits I learned over the past two years haven't changed me that much.   However, what I am beginning to realize is that I need to figure out how to be that person in a completely different set of circumstances.  Although right now I feel that I have gone back to being unoriginal and that I have lost the ability to love and care that I felt I had in Virginia (and have developed a painful case of insomnia since returning as well), it is true "there is nothing I wouldn't give" to refine those attributes and characteristics in my new life.