You Are A Tourist

When there's a burning in your heart
An endless yearning in your heart
Build it bigger than the sun
Let it grow
Let it grow
When there's a burning in your heart
Don't be alarmed.

When there's a doubt in your mind
'Cause you think it all the time
Framing rights into wrongs
Move along
Move along
When there's a doubt in your mind
- Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie, You Are A Tourist)

I can't believe it took me this many posts for a Ben Gibbard song to make it on here. Before we get to the importance, little bit of a Death Cab history/lyric writing seminar is necessary. When it comes to writing anything, it has to be something that is important to the writer for the emotional connection, especially in the performing arts. If I listen or watch a singer try to sing something that is unimportant to them, I can tell. There isn't any heart in it. To give an example, I (referring to myself) cannot write a song or ever sing a song about cats, because, well, I have a unmeasurable interest in anything feline. Why is this remotely important? Because since the last CD release, the main lyricist for Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Gibbard, got himself hitched. Traditionally, Death Cab's music and lyrics have leaned to the opposite end of the relationship spectrum: break-ups, falling out of love, etc. As the most hardcore Death Cab that I personally know, (I'm sure there is one out there, and I'd love to challenge them) I was more then a little worried when I heard that a new release was scheduled for this upcoming May. What would happen when the main theme of Death Cab's music for the past 13 years would lose meaning to the primary lyricist? (At least, most married people shouldn't have strong emotions about break-ups and falling out of love)

Well, the first answer came in this evening. Death Cab released the first single from their new CD to those who had pre-ordered it. The song is called "You Are A Tourist." As I was listening to the intro and listening for the first sign of good or bad, the above lyrics came through my headphones.

No, it isn't trademark Death Cab. It's evolved, because the band has changed. But the best part is: They believe it. The trademark emotion, the sound of "believing" is there. I can't speak for the rest of the CD, but if this song is like the rest of the CD, it will be their best CD since Transatlanticism.

Also, for my life right now, I need a good "Carpe Diem!" anthem. Like yesterday's song, it's a song of going for what you want and getting rid of all the doubts.

When you doubt, move along. When you want something, let it grow.
That's about it for now.

"Fight with pride
And fight to the end
Strike on
This is your chance
Make it worth your life."
- I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business, Whispering Actually


I was listening to this song while making alfredo and salad for my family this evening (no the alfredo did not go on the salad) and these lyrics stood out to me. I thought of all the battles I'm facing with getting my own music projects going and the obvious difficulties of trying to start and then live a life as a musician, and this song told me what to do. Despite the feelings of "I'm a terrible singer" or "I can't play like guitarist x or pianist y" doesn't matter. Be proud of whatever you do, whether it is writing music, painting, writing books, or being the peacemaker. (I learned on my mission that a talent isn't often something that you do, its something that you are) Make everything you do worth your life. Take your chances and run with them.. and if they aren't immediately given to you, create them!

P.S. I highly recommend anything by any of Ace Ender's projects (Early November, I Can Make A Mess, etc.) They are all fantastic.

"Oh, my morning's coming back
The whole world's waking up
The city buses swimming past
I'm happy just because
I found out I'm really no one."
- Bright Eyes, At the Bottom of Everything

Not really much explanation necessary for this one.

Even though sometimes you might feel like you are the center of it all, and although it may be just a brief moment, eventually the rest of the world will come back and what you perceive to be your reality will meld with the rest of the world. Life is far simpler (at least for me right now) to remember that most likely what you want to believe in your head isn't what is reality, and by accepting that you are no one, you can't ever be let down.

"I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well, take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A milestone around my neck,
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give."

 - Jesse Lacey (Brand New, 'The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me')


Coming home from the mission has been harder then anything I have done before.  Going from a carefully organized and planned day into the day of  "do whatever you want" was more then I (or anybody for that matter) was able to anticipate.  It's been throwing me for a loop these past few weeks.  At times I feel that all the lessons and the habits I learned over the past two years haven't changed me that much.   However, what I am beginning to realize is that I need to figure out how to be that person in a completely different set of circumstances.  Although right now I feel that I have gone back to being unoriginal and that I have lost the ability to love and care that I felt I had in Virginia (and have developed a painful case of insomnia since returning as well), it is true "there is nothing I wouldn't give" to refine those attributes and characteristics in my new life.     

The First Post.

So.. since I came home from my mission, I have had this idea for how I wanted to write in my new journal.  Well, it has been a month, and I haven't made it any further on that idea then when it first came to me.. until now.  The idea behind that journal (which is now this blog) is that whenever a piece of music or a song particularly strikes me, whether it be with an idea, a piece of advice, or is just amazing, that I would write down why it struck me at the moment in time.   Whether it came from a exceptionally played Rachmaninoff piano concerto or the profound lyrics of Ben Gibbard (of Death Cab for Cutie fame), I want to remember why it was important to me in the moment in time.   My goal is to at least update this every other day.  With the amount of music I ingest into my system, this should be a fairly simple task.


To explain the name of the blog.   I feel the best definition for music that I have ever come across is "waves of emotions organized in time."   There is nothing more honest, raw, and truthful then one's emotions.  As this is a journal of sorts, and the music represented on the blog will be the 'emotions organized in time' of my life, the title serves as a reminder to myself that although not all of the words and notes may be my own, that for that brief and fleeting second, they are my emotions, and it is absolutely essential to self-preservation and to one's own sanity to be honest with one's self. 

I hope you enjoy what you find, and that something helps you.  If it only helps one person (and even if that person is myself), then all the time wasted wasn't really a waste.